Bad Luck Girl

Of all of the ailments that plague me, the most troublesome has got to be my chronic bad luck. I trip, I fall, I drop, I bump, I lose, I break, I tip, I spill, I forget. Clumsiness and forgetfulness come hand in hand with fibromyalgia. For a while I thought it was just me. I would always say “I see an object, acknowledge it, avoid it, and walk into it anyway.” It was only until I went to a fibro clinic did I realise it was in fact a symptom. The physiotherapist who ran the clinic described it in almost the same words, and suddenly my clumsiness was validated. It wasn’t just a poor attention to my surroundings. It was a real and valid symptom, and not my fault. As for forgetfulness, that is attributed to fibrofog.
However fibromyalgia cannot explain why mine will be the train ticket that doesn’t work in the machines, or why I always set off the detectors at airports, seemingly without any metal on my person. My misfortune is like the rain during monsoon season, constant and relentless. I often wonder if I was cursed at birth or was I just a really horrible person in a past life? Maybe I’m just a giant, human shaped magnet attracting all the bad luck from a thirty mile radius.
It started as somewhat of a joke. I consistently drew the proverbial short straw. Constant eye rolls and sighs of “typical”. But then it grew into a trend. Something that would work perfectly well for everyone else would fail for me. But now it’s hard to always laugh at something that causes so much discontent.
I was never particularly superstitious, but now I find myself looking for ‘lucky’ objects to keep with me ‘just incase’. A couple of months ago a cracked mirror nearly brought me to tears. I don’t believe in it as such, but something in the back of my head constantly says “what if?” With the luck I have, I don’t want to risk it.
For the most part, my bad luck doesn’t impact my life greatly, more often it’s just an annoying inconvenience. Although as these inconveniences increase I find myself wondering if investing in a zorb ball to wear around the house would be a good idea. For now, all I can do is hope for a break in the bad luck cycle. Not necessarily good luck, but average luck would be nice. But a day in which I don’t walk into something could only be a dream.

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